Final Exam TOMORROW..

Oh my gosh...I really should be studying right now...This is crazy....I am having the most terrible time staying focused...What is wrong with me?

I am excited about a few things....1) I am on the verge of finishing my first semester of medical school, 2) I found a lovely apartment on the 3rd try, and 3) I am on my way home for Christmas break in two days.....

I feel like a totally different person today.  I will try to explain.  After three years of preparing for medical school, writing personal statements, taking the MCAT several times, applying to medical schools, then finally getting accepted, I still have a long way to go.  But, I see the victory line.  I see myself growing as a physician.  Im learning so much.  I can't wait to actually put things into practice.  I feel that I am in the right place at the right time.  I am forever grateful for this opportunity to fulfill a dream.  I look back over all the things I've accomplished and right now today...I feel this is the ultimate accomplishment, THE FIGHT...

The first phase, I will call THE DRIVE..the drive to fulfill, the drive to manifest, and the drive to prove I can get into medical school.  Drive and motivation is a great combination.  But, the will to FIGHT and WIN is the ULTIMATE...

Now, the second phase, I will call:  THE FIGHT TO WIN.  Although I've always considered myself as a fighter.  I am fighting the fight of my life...and I have had many in my day, but this one is the ULTIMATE.....On each level in life there is a defining moment, there is a fight that must be won, war that must be conquered.  The Fight with SELF.  The outside forces are temporal, but the internal strength is REAL and FOREVER.   I must draw on my internal stregth to win this fight...I must fight through the fatigue, the lack of sleep, the times of bewilderment and continue on in purpose. 

When the FORCE WITHIN is STRONGER than the force trying to push you back, you WILL MOVE FORWARD. Im glad to say my inner FORCE is mighter than mountains and stronger than the sea. GOD's over powering love for me is PUSHING ME FORWARD...Selah

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First semester of medical school has been an eye opener.  I would never have imagined the work load.  Right now I am preparing for my final exam.  I have to have reviewed over 5200 lecture slides, 400 hours of lectures, and on stop of that, I have to remember the most important concepts, calulations, symptoms and signs..

I think I burned myself out the first three months.  I had no extracurricular activities, no social interactions except in passing and with my son.  And now my focus has diminished.  I went through a horrible ordeal with my housing arrangements...MOLD...and horrible landlord, etc..I had to move the day before my practicals..It was a mess....But, I had to regroup and I mean quickly...a month before semester was ending, I went out to celebrate my birthday....that was the start of turning this ship around.  I attended another social function...That helped break the slump.  Then this week I started working out at the gym.  It's never too late.  Im feeling better now....

So, this coming semester..I see the changes I have to make....I am going to join a couple of clubs on campus, work out at least 3x per week.....gain some BALANCE in life and I WILL WIN THIS FIGHT...

Back to studying...18hrs to go...
Pray for me....