Can we dance?

I remember there was a time when I could play the corporate game.  I could overlook the small bothersome things in the work place and keep moving.  I could excel in my job, get promoted and recognized for outstanding performance and careless about the politics of the office.  BUT, NOW what has happened to that career woman.  Have I forgotten how to dance?  Have I forgotten or am I just not into dancing in that manner anymore? 

It has been such a long time since I had to do the corporate dance...that I have completely forgotten if it's a two step or a waltz.  Prior to embarking on this journey, I was self employed for 12 years.  I set the pace, I chose the dance.  And I always prefered and upbeat tempo with a whole lot of soul.  So, now that I am at the lower end of the totem pole...my moves have been stunned.  This is when the self evaluation and humbleness has to kick in.   I'm just not use to people loud talking me, spies in office watching your every move.  This is ludacris.  But, it's only temporary.  I am going to make it through this last week and half and it's back to the hospital....

I am now assigned to a small outpatient internal medicine office.  The doctor I am working with has been practicing medicine over 40 years and has a real on hands approach to everything in the office, even who is making copies...Yes, copies...Her bedside manner is quite different than my style, but most of her patients has been with her for many, many years and they continue to come back for more.  She's a type of hold no punches, in your face type.....she and the patients go back and forth in heated dialogue....but, one thing I found...They all come back.  At first, I wasn't quite sure how to handle her approach...but, one thing I did see was she was like this with everyone. 

So, I had to realize this is her way, her personality and I must not take her out burst to heart, but see the true intent and that is she does care for her patients.  I must say, I admire her ability to assess and diagnose quickly.  She is concerned about the whole patient: preventative care, acute, and chronic management.  When she is in a calm mood, she is a fabulous teacher.  This week I had to stop taking offense at her style and embrace her sincerity.  She means well.  She's a bit perculiar, but she a great practioner. 

I must learn to dance again...I must recognize there are many different types of music and I will be limiting my experience if I cannot come to appreciate music of all genres....

So, you may be faced with some static, noise or unfamiliar music that has become distracting and is only bringing you frustration, try to see beyond the distraction and get the message or the lesson being taught.

Humble yourself and in due season, you will be exalted. 1 Peter 5:6

Now, go live your dreams!

What are you made of?

It's been three weeks in I'm in the thick of things in my Emergency Room rotation...Yes, ER...It is part of our internal medicine rotation...I am so happy to have this opportunity.  I give Thanks and Honor to GOD for allowing me to live out this dream.  It is so exciting.  I started in the ER a couple of weeks ago, not really knowing what to expect, except what I've attentively watched on one of my favorite shows, "Untold stories of the ER."  Well, being in the middle of it all, is a totally different story.

I've never really had much experience in the hospital setting, (for those of you that do not know my background, I'm was a mortgage broker prior to pursuing my dream.)  I did some volunteer work on a hospital ward, but mostly in a clinic setting.  So, actually being a student doctor in a hosptial is a whole different story.  So, my first day reporting to the ER was so exciting and I found out what I was really made of....CHICKEN. ...LOL...

I have never been so nervous in all my days...as soon as I get there....guess what? A CODE was in route from Emergery Rescue Team....I was terrified. ...I was told, "get in there doc help out"...I thought I was going to pass out...my mind went totally blank...I was horrified....a nurse asked me to place a pulse oximeter on the patient finger and I freaked out...I couldn't do it.  Thank GOD I was with a more seasoned 4th year med student that showed me what the nurse was asking...basically it was like putting on a band-aid...LOL....That day I will never forget...The day I perhaps fell in love with ER medicine....

In such a fast pace setting at times, you have to be able to think quickly and with confidence.  I had to draw on my confidence knowing that I am there to learn and the attending physicians are there to assist and guide me.  My confidence meter was on very low, needed to be recharged, refilled, re-ignited.  So, I did what I normally do in cases like this...I went inward, prayed upward, sought wise counsel from those that truly believe in me and the next week, I was ready to move forward in confidence. 

My second week came quickly.  Not sure that I was performing well or to my standards, I shook off last week and pushed forward to a better second week.  One thing I found, there is no time for pity parties, you have to shake off , go home and study what you  did not remember that day and move forward to the next day..For tomorrow holds worries of it's own.. Matth 6:34....

As soon as I get in to the ER, a patient with respiratory failure  arrives via EMS and is not ventilating...I began interviewing the husband and trying to get the story and I heard the doctor say we have to intubate her.  I was terrified...The doctor ask who patient is this?  Of course, she was mine.  So, guess what, I had to intubate her...The doctor with a patient but blunt way began to quiz me on the spot on the procedures of intubation, sedation, etc, etc...With the best support team and fellow colleagues, a successful intubation was accomplished. 

Now, I so want to learn everything I can to be the best ER doctor, but I still have such a long way to go.  I'm still building my tolerance at the sight of blood or anything else gross..I saw with my own eyes some nauseating stuff .....my stomach was so upset my first week...I couldn't stand very much.  I was so embarassed.....But, I made it thru my shifts....and now I'm in my last week...

Although it's early in my clinical rotations and where I finally decided to plant my roots, only GOD knows; this I know I am enjoying the ride.  And with all jokes I know what I'm made of: perservance, dedication, tenacity, excitement, resilience, strength, faithfulness, wisdom, peace, righteousness, meekness, and humbleness.  As we use to say as kids, "sugar and spice and everything nice...that's what girls are made of!"

What are you made of?  Are you doing all you know and/or can do to live out your desires in this life?  Because what you truly believe you are made of ....WILL manifest in your surroundings, in your attitude, in your LIFE...

Now, go live YOUR LIFE like you only have ONE!