Today, I was quite amazed at how at ease I was during our infracolic region dissection. I was actively cleaning away the fat to identify all the vasculature (veins and arteries) structures that supplies the liver, spleen, stomach, small and large intestines, and it really didn't bother me, as you would have thought it should.
As I am continuing to push forward in my study of medicine, I'm growing less and less sensitive to what I know before all of this would have scared the dickens out of me.
A couple of weekends ago, I got to participate in a Prostate Screening Clinic in a local community in which, I got to perform digital rectal exams. Do you know why they are called digital? You may think it's because I'm using a fancy digital apparatus of some sort, but no.....it's because Im using my 2nd digit (finger) to inserted into a complete strangers rectum. I know, now that sounds crazy. But, all in all, it is why Im here; to learn and to grow. The attending physician made it seem so natural and literally was not going to let me leave until I did it. Also, I was quite amazed that I was able to answer some of the questions posed to me by the attending professor. It felt good.
So, I said this to say, I'm growing. I'm getting there, step by step. I am naturally falling into my groove. My specialty will be revealed in time. Each step is leading me towards my new normal, my dream of practicing medicine. Oh my gosh..it is happening right before my eyes...I can see it....Thank God...
Proverbs 23:7, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he"